Written By Mistress Marley
It was a Sunday morning in September, three weeks after I had broken off a long, mentally exhausting relationship and two weeks after I had broken my foot. Obviously, the past month had been shitty for me, but I was trying everything in my power to not slip into a depression. I knew what depression felt like from experiencing it intensely years ago, and I refused to go down that rabbit hole again. I was unemployed, injured, and fresh out of graduate school, with no one but myself covering my bills. I rolled over in bed, refusing to open the curtains because a part of me didn’t want to welcome sunlight in. I mindlessly opened up different social media apps; nothing interesting. I randomly checked my bank account; even more depressing. I opened up Google and simply typed in “How to make money from home as a woman...” Yes, it was super spe- cific, but I didn’t care as I pressed ‘Search’. The first thing that caught my eye was ‘Financial Domination”. I figured it was something that dealt with economics, or the government, or some shit like that. I clicked it anyway and my life was changed. Two years ago when I found out that this scenario existed, my life changed for the better. The concept itself sounds far fetched and fictional, but it is, I learned, actually the reality for a lot of women. This concept is called Financial Domination, or Findom, for short. It is the consensual act of having a submissive man give you control of his finances, his money, and how he spends it. These men are called “pay pigs”. Some of these men don’t expect anything after sending you funds; some expect blackmail or humiliation, under the guise of roleplay. No matter what is agreed upon, the Findomme, or Financially Dominant woman, remains in control, showered with gifts and tributes (money). If you had told me years ago that I’d be in this position today: financially controlling men and teaching the art to black women through classes and online seminars, I wouldn’t have believed you. Financial Domination opened my mind up to a world of kink I never knew existed besides being a sugar baby (which takes more time and energy in my opinion), but now I shout to the high heavens “I AM HERE TO CONTROL YOUR WALLET!” To learn Financial Domination is to ultimately learn who you are, how you respond in scenarios that demand control, and how you figure out how to maneuver through situations dealing with men and money together. It helps you to make wiser decisions, it teaches you how to manage your time, and how to learn that time IS money. I’ll slide you a few tips: 1.) KNOW YOUR ROLE You’re the Domme, the dominant woman, and your subs needs to know and understand that. YOU control the situation and you can never let that go unannounced. Choose a persona based on your own or one that you’ve always wanted to emulate. 2.) DO YOUR RESEARCH If you can’t find a mentor, try looking in the “Femdom” section on most porn websites. This will give you a good idea of what goes on during sessions. 3.) BELIEVE IT BEFORE YOU SEE IT Practice affirmations and manifesting what you would want to get out of the situation. I usually start my waking up in the morning stating “I am a Goddess who has men begging to serve at my feet.” 4.) BE SAFE, BUT MAKE IT SEXY Learn how to conduct background checks on potential clients. Hire security for sessions or have a close friend nearby. Always stay vigilant and alert! Starting out, I didn’t have a mentor; I only had the Google search engine and my need for a change. Since building a bit of an empire utilizing my newfound expertise, the natural empath in me felt obligated to help other black women discover this world so they wouldn’t have to do it on their own. Yes, the outlets for learning are out there, but all come from the perspectives of white women. That never clicked with me and never will.
As Women of Color, We don’t navigate the world the same. Thus Black Domme Sorority was born. My digital community is an organizational safe space for black women that boasts over 700 members and counting. The online platform includes live classes, parties, seminars, and most importantly sisterhood as we navigate together the various veins for our collective success in the financial domination industry. To date we have been featured in Forbes, Whoreible Decisions podcast, and in a handful of documentaries as we continue to thrive. To join us and learn more about how to have men pay you to be the Goddess you are, connect with us on Facebook at Black Femmedomme Sorority and connect with me for personal mentorship on social media @ChocolateDomme or at www.thechocolatedomme.com today